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Where to start?

Lately, I’ve been asking myself “What happened?”.

I look back and realize that I’ve always been the optimistic one. I’d always see the best of things and the bright side of the future. I’d be irritated of negative vibes. I’d always plan ahead and write everything in black and white to remind myself everyday of how I’m gonna accomplish all my goals. I’d wake up everyday so thankful of everything I have.

Suddenly it felt like I bumped my head so hard that I became the exact opposite of myself. I’ll be in all sorts of mood, I’d rant about things, my days would end and I’d always feel that something’s missing. Now,  I often wake up not wanting to leave the house. It wouldn’t matter if I do or don’t do the things I have to finish. I never make plans anymore; I just go wherever time would take me.

It’s like I run out of pixie dust and I can’t even fly an inch above the ground. I dislike this version of me. I’m not pushing myself to do better or function as much as I want to. I’m currently in great need of motivation and inspiration. I know God will never give up on me even if I’m almost giving up on myself. I really am sorry for feeling and being this way. I believe it is all in my mind and it is all because I’m letting it get to me.

This time, I’m gonna push myself back to reality and live my life the way I should. It may not be perfect but it will be something worth a big smiley face. I admit I let myself get defeated but I’ll face tomorrow with my head up and my feet on the ground.

We don’t lose when we fail. We lose when we never try.

xx,

R.

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