Switched

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Where to start?

Lately, I’ve been asking myself “What happened?”.

I look back and realize that I’ve always been the optimistic one. I’d always see the best of things and the bright side of the future. I’d be irritated of negative vibes. I’d always plan ahead and write everything in black and white to remind myself everyday of how I’m gonna accomplish all my goals. I’d wake up everyday so thankful of everything I have.

Suddenly it felt like I bumped my head so hard that I became the exact opposite of myself. I’ll be in all sorts of mood, I’d rant about things, my days would end and I’d always feel that something’s missing. Now,  I often wake up not wanting to leave the house. It wouldn’t matter if I do or don’t do the things I have to finish. I never make plans anymore; I just go wherever time would take me.

It’s like I run out of pixie dust and I can’t even fly an inch above the ground. I dislike this version of me. I’m not pushing myself to do better or function as much as I want to. I’m currently in great need of motivation and inspiration. I know God will never give up on me even if I’m almost giving up on myself. I really am sorry for feeling and being this way. I believe it is all in my mind and it is all because I’m letting it get to me.

This time, I’m gonna push myself back to reality and live my life the way I should. It may not be perfect but it will be something worth a big smiley face. I admit I let myself get defeated but I’ll face tomorrow with my head up and my feet on the ground.

We don’t lose when we fail. We lose when we never try.

xx,

R.

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Back and Out

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I have no idea how I ended up writing here. So, here it goes: I just finished watching Glee’s Prom episode and HS memories came back to me. It didn’t take too long to think about 5 years ago, then 4 years, 3, 2 and finally, a year ago. Sometimes memories feel very much like yesterday; you remember moments and feel like you’re in the same place all over again. For a few minutes, all those years played in my head like it’s in fast-forward. I had happy times, crying nights, years of love and years of heartache, roller coaster rides of success and failure, birth and death of friendship, never-ending times of change and opportunities of growth. If I were to write a book about my life, it will be one book for every year. I’ve had a combination of ordinary and crazy and now that I think about it, I have no regrets.

We may think of those memories and how much it affected our lives but no matter how you try to keep them alive, a day would come when it will just be something in the mind, and feelings will never be the same no matter how you try to bring them back. Sometimes we become so used to feeling a certain way about things that in our mind we haven’t moved on but in reality, we are already miles away. Life’s pretty interesting and it continues to surprise us. There are a number of events that we can never explain why and how they exist but it is what keeps us going ’cause we always want to know how things would end.

You will never know the value of time until you’ve lost it. It is a fact that we can never take or turn back time but we can always choose to make the most of it while it lasts. We still hold on to some memories of the past but as we move on with life we realize not how it’s pulling us back but how it’s making us better now. It is unfortunate not to get anything from history but a treasure to be held back at that moment but still be able to let it go.

Live life not like it’s your last but the first. For people who have already experienced it,the beginning is the most magical. Cherish every second and live like it’s never going to end. Do not worry of how things will work out. There will be ups and downs but it will all be worth it. Dream infinitely, love forever and live the best life you could ever have.

xx,

R.

100 of 366: Start

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And I’m back! Again, after a number of weeks, I have abandoned this blog. The early part of February and March I can justify; I’ve been busy organizing a concert for a cause and with God’s help and blessings, it was beyond successful (I’ll post some photos on the coming days). Right after that I had more than a week to rest before Spring break but unfortunately I had an insomnia attack. I would be in bed early in the evening but I’ll finally get sleep after midnight. Maybe I got used to being pre-occupied doing things that when it’s all over, my brain wanted something to keep itself full. That point in my life (even though I’m in denial at first), I felt really exhausted. I felt tired physically, mentally and emotionally. Thank God for the spiritual strength that it kept me feeling so alive in spite of my body/brain/heart- shut down. AND a 7-day break that I spent on my first European trip in Greece (and photos later too!). I actually attended a conference for 2 days but I got to explore the city most days of the week.

Here I am now back in reality with an attempt to revive this little space where I “keep” a part of my brain and a glimpse of my heart (eeek!). I have already wasted 4 days procrastinating but I have to keep it all together and do what I am supposed to do. I think my obsessive planning and organizing self is way better than my couch-potato side. Every time I reach a phase like this, it’ll always feel like New Year’s Eve where I wake up and try to start fresh and change things a bit. Through all the obstacles that has come my way; I can’t help but be thankful for I have been blessed more than I have been tested. For all its worth, I’m living my dream.

xx,

R.

56 of 366

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Life is full of challenges but time will come when it’ll all come to an end. Be patient and hopeful. Just like on a sand stormy day, it will all brighten up after the rain.

Marathon

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Life would always take you by surprise. There will be times when you’ll encounter extremes; one day you’ll feel like the luckiest person on earth then suddenly feel like the whole world crashed all over you. That’s life.

We all run a race trying to reach a goal. We aim to win or for some of us, finishing the race is good enough. But it doesn’t go as smooth as breathing; there will be obstacles, there will be down times, we will get to the point where we’d get too tired or end up just  giving up. But that’s the beauty of winning. It is when you have won over the hardships  without letting go. It is when you fall down so many times that you learn how to stand firm. It is through pain that you’ll have greater faith. Losing is not the end but the beginning of a new race. It may be overrated but never give up! Run as hard and as gracefully as you can. Pause but never stop. Do not just aim to finish the race but run the race and win it.

Victory is not winning but believing. Believe that you can reach the bright end. Stand up when you fall, never look back and beat the best that you can be.

 

xx,

R.

35 of 366

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We all know for a fact that life isn’t as pleasant and perfect as how we all want it to be. There are a thousand things we experience that we’d randomly forget without really understanding what it meant. I, myself, get confused a lot of times but I think I’ve lived most of my life expecting the best out of things/events/people. I’m optimistic about almost everything even though sometimes its close to impossible but I’d always end up convincing myself that all things are possible (of course, with God).

I’d have questions, I’d get confused, I’d sometimes get hurt but still manage to gracefully move forward because I’d always hope that tomorrow’s gonna be better. And God never failed me, every new day turned out to be brighter. But there are moments when I’d feel like breaking and feel so much loaded that I’d just burst to tears for no apparent reason. Sometimes I get so hopeful or positive that people/things would eventually give up on me. That when I’ve had too much faith, it sometimes just had to end. I know I can’t always expect to get a mutual response but you get the point.

Whatever it is that is going on in my life, whether good or bad, I’d always believe that however it turns out, it’s always for a reason and according to God’s plan. I’d never get tired of hoping and being optimistic about things. I’d always cherish when I’m happy and  grow up when I’m in pain. For no matter how crazy life gets, in the end it’s gonna be a happily ever after.

xxoo,

R.

Moolah Management: Spend on Savings

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Have you ever thought of considering savings as an expense? No? Are you one of those people that saves up whatever is left after everything else? Yes? Do you have times when you don’t get to save up any amount at all? Do you promise to save and end up spending it anyway? Do you want to start trying again? Read away!

We tend to take savings for granted. We try to save whatever is left instead of the other way around. Here’s a few simple steps in saving wisely:

1. Save First. Based on your income/allowance, how much can you set aside for savings? Figure out a fixed amount allotted just for savings.

2. Consider it an Expense. Just like rent, electricity, phone bills, etc. (see Moolah Management: The Basics), treat savings as part of your expenses. Like it is something that has to be paid for.

3. Stick to your Budget. Not because you see unused cash on your “Savings” envelope, doesn’t mean you have more to spend. Remember, that money has already been spent. Consider it money forgotten/ignored.

4. Start Small. You don’t have to oblige yourself to save half of what you earn (but if you can, save away!) and go hungry. Saving Php 500/SAR 50/USD 15 regularly (every month) is better than having no savings at all.

5. No Cheating. Do not tell yourself “I’m gonna use my savings for this month and I promise to pay it back next month” Never miss a day or month in setting aside an amount for savings. You’ll be surprised at the end of the year how much you’ve saved up. The same thing goes if you start missing out, you’ll be surprised of how much you don’t have. Save religiously.

6. Lock it up. If possible, put your savings straight to your bank account or put it some place that only you know about. That way, you won’t be tempted to spend it. For me, I opened a separate bank account for savings only so I don’t mix up my cash for spending and saving.

You can try these not only for safe keeping but also for saving up for something you want for the future. (e.g. travel, shopping spree, a new phone, or even a house, etc.)

Think about it before you get that January paycheck. Spend wisely, spend on savings! 🙂

 

xx,

R.